Oh Snap!

My first shopping experience in Jakarta was rather comical. It is well known here that things are not cheap. I have been told that if you want something inexpensive you need to go elsewhere like Thailand or Singapore for example.
I decided to go to a place that could resemble Walmart in the states and, still very different. Obviously!
You didn’t have to walk around for hours looking for help. They found you before you entered their shop.
Picture this… A great big warehouse of different vendors all competing for space.
I was looking for exact items; Black Sandals, a pair of black dress pants and a dark solid colored shirt.
I found a pair of sandals. I tried them on and they didn’t fit. The clerk said what size. I gestured bigger. We do not have that shoe in your size, she explained with a smile. She showed me a red one with sparkles. I shook my head. Good lord, that’s not me! I picked up another one. She speaking in Indonesian and trying to tell me they don’t have that one in my size. How do I know that I interpreted her correctly you might ask? She handed me a white tennis shoe. I started laughing and said thank you but no thank you and left.
I went into another store and, I picked up a pair of pants. I hesitated and, gestured a bigger size? He gave me a large. I smiled and was guided to the corner of the 4×4 foot shop where they wrapped a curtain around me. All I could do was giggle. I pulled these up to my knees and gasped…OMG people say I am small. These people can fit through a straw and sit on a thimble. WHY OH WHY did I allow my brother Terry to talk me into not bringing clothes from the states!
I left and gestured to the clerk. Too small!!!!

The next place was a vender set up smack dab in the middle of the store. No walls and no curtains. I found a pair of black pants.
I cringed and gestured where do I try these on? She gestures back…pull them up over your shorts. I waved uh, no! I remembered how the previous pair fit and I knew if there was a snow balls chance in %#¥£ that these were going to fit I couldn’t afford extra clothing underneath. As it was, I already had too much I was trying to fit in Indonesian designed pants.
She insisted this is how they do it here and so I thought I would play along. I pulled them up over my shorts and Holy cow if I inhale from the depths of my toes I can actually button my pants!!! I was ecstatic:):):):)
With excitement I smiled and gave her money!
I pull down my dress pants and I notice my shorts were on inside out from the last place I tried on pants.
I thought… Great! I am so not going out of this mall looking like this.
As the clerk was getting my change out of her fanny pack I looked around and there was a man standing a few yards away, some children running about and a few women perusing though the racks of clothes.
You know where this is going don’t you?:):):):)
Yep I DID IT! I threw modesty on the clothing rack and yanked those puppies off and turned them right side in there in front of God and the rest of the non forewarned bystanders in the “Indonesian Walmart!”
The clerk caught the foiled attempt of my carefully orchestrated clandestine operation and both of us started laughing hysterically.
The morale of this story.. Being a chicken will not allow you to look like a fool in or outside the store:)