This video clip reminds me of my ill fated attempts to engage in conversation. I think it is funny now but it never use to be.
I tried everything to get people to talk to me.
Ask my children. I had a book I would pull out called “What If.” It had 4 questions to a page. I asked them to pick a page number, and a number on the page. I told them to open to that page, and to read and answer the question.
My kids hated that book!
Throughout my life my friends have thought they were talking to a two year old. My mother thought I was noisy. My father thought I asked to many damn questions, and many people who I wanted to know never got back with me.
It was always an attempt to start a conversation, and to get to know someone better.
Pursuing a legitimate give and take conversation was a challenge.
Trust me, a question is ok. A barrage is intimidating. Remember to be patient, wait, and in the silence they will come.
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Scientists estimate that the probability of YOU being born as you are at the time you were born are 1 in 400 trillion.
Dr. Ali Binazir. M.D., M. Phil. used this example to demonstrate the odds of this highly unlikely event to occur. “Imagine there was one life preserver thrown somewhere in some ocean and there is exactly one turtle in all of these oceans, swimming underwater somewhere. The probability that you came about and exist today is the same as that turtle sticking its head out of the water – in the middle of that life preserver. On one try.
The odds of you being alive are basically zero!”
If you are wondering why you are here. If you haven’t found your passion. If you struggle thinking about your talents, ask your friends or family to help provide insight.
If you have asked yourself, what is it that I have to share that hasn’t already been done.
Remember this, you are uniquely you.
Whatever your passion, no one will deliver your message the way you will. Why, because it’s yours.
I have been speaking, and giving workshops since 2010. I have been blogging since 2015.
There has been times before, and after my decision to speak, and even throughout these last nine years that I have questioned my ability, my reason, my why.
On one of those occasions where I was second guessing on whether or not I should continue, I met an old acquaintance of mine who I hadn’t seen or talked to in years.
I asked how she was doing. She shared she had lost her job, had gone through severe
depression, become addicted to alcohol, and had gone through rehab. She said, I want to thank you. Your posts have helped me through some really hard times.
Everyone has a gift, and there is someone out there who is waiting for you to share yours. Someone who’s life will be inspired, moved or transformed by your story because you are 1 in 400 trillion
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Practice Being Proud of Who You Are.
Being a perfectionist is hard work. I rarely let myself be seen by the public not working or achieving.
As a perfectionist, I have to put “a day off” in my calendar, and when I do there have been many times I never honored that entry.
To a perfectionist, it’s a job not to be one. It means one more thing on my to do list!
Today I am dropping the wall. Today, I am letting you know I am not perfect, and I do make mistakes.
I am letting you see, I am doing the best I can.
There are many days I am in the kitchen
Preparing food that supports my body. But there are some days it pains me to say, I am toast!
I am tired of trying to be perfect.
But I wouldn’t want you to see that “I failed” at being perfect.
Growing up, and well into my 40’s, I couldn’t remember a time, “I can’t make a mistake” was not my mantra.
Although, it’s not as bad as it once was, I am still aware of its existence…
-I am still “finishing” my book
-There are days I would prefer laying in bed scrolling through Facebook then get up, and potentially make a mistake.
-This blog has taken me two hours to write.
-Trying to be perfect has prevented me from being silly and having fun.
But I keep chipping away at the wall of perfectionism. I am letting you see me be silly, and I am admitting it took me two hours to write this blog but it used to take me fours hours to write a 1 1/2 minute read, and I am also letting you see days where “I feel I am making a mistake by eating my emotions.”
I am not perfect!
I am doing the best I can.
And it’s ok!
It doesn’t matter if you are a coach, presenter, parent, sales rep, CEO, manager, nurse, writer, instructor, etc. How many times have you questioned your ability to guide, lead or assist, and didn’t feel you were in the right frame of mind to do so? You are not perfect, but an important key to the gift you choose to share, even if you don’t feel like you are in the right frame of mind, is your willingness to follow where you ask others to go. Learn to lean, step into someone else’s shoes, ask for help, be guided, disconnect from what doesn’t support you, become the observer, try something new, and step outside your comfort zone. The fear of not being perfect gives rise to courage. The courage to follow when you have been called to lead.
How many times have you wanted to do something but your perceived limitations held you back?
Maybe you are afraid someone you knew would see you not acting “yourself” or you will be told to grow up, and act like an adult.
The only way to set yourself free from your perceived limitations is to practice challenging your fears.
One way to chip away at those barriers is to go to a place nobody knows your name, and do something you always wanted to do but we’re afraid because________.
It doesn’t have to be sky diving or spelunking, just something to pull you outside your comfort zone.
When I am away from home, I practice finding something I would be reluctant to do in the company of those that know me.
When I first moved to Florida, I went to down town Siesta Key.
I was walking past a musician singing his heart out on the patio of a restaruant. The patio was packed.
I wanted to dance, and the old fear came up voicing its opinion… “but you suck at it.”
I closed my eyes, bared my inhibitions, and started dancing all by myself right there on the street next to the restaurant.
I danced for like 30 minutes. When I was done, I felt like I had taken some of the power back I let my fears steal from me.
The next time you are away from home, pick something you are uncomfortable doing, and chisel away at your fears.
Cheers Let’s Toast!
So this is what a healthy relationship looks like.
have run into each other on many occasions but I never welcomed you into my life to stay.
Thank you, my friend. You have humbled me, supported my growth, made me more aware of what I am capable of, and you have helped me set the groundwork to build other healthy relationships. Thank you for this clarity.
Today is day 30.
It may be the end of my initial commitment but it’s the beginning of a new friendship.
Before I began this 30-Day Commitment, I would not have let you see what I cannot not do or what I have not yet achieved. I was afraid of being viewed as not good enough.
I had to surrender to the idea that I am right where I am suppose to be, and there are also some things my body might not physically be able to do.
Change takes time, patience, courage, perseverance, acceptance and honor.
During my 30-day yoga challenge, I have learned to honor where I am. I’ve exercised courage to accept the present moment. Because of my courage, I am able to show up, and as a result, my level of commitment is increasing.
The key is to remind myself, the only moment I am required to be present for, is this one.