Bats, Snakes, and The Dark, Oh, My!

68791ADB-17AD-420A-AF22-6D2505EB75F3Have you ever wanted to explore the inside of a cave?
I hadn’t because it was frickin’ scary to me.
I had heard that snakes and bats live there and most of all its really dark inside a cave! I am scared of snakes and bats, and I don’t like to be surrounded by the dark.
So not having any experience of being attacked by bats, bitten by snakes or being consumed by the dark, then what am I really afraid of?
Research shows, that often times, it’s because we are afraid of not having control over unknown circumstances.
Yeah, ok so now we are getting closer to the root of the fear. Let’s dig a little deeper.
I can now ask myself why losing control is something to be afraid of. Wow, that hit another trigger.
What happens then, if I feel like I have no control over my surroundings? I am left feeling vulnerable and powerless.
Ah, so herein lies the core of the problem.
So it’s really not about the snakes, bats and the dark, it’s that I am scared of feeling helpless and defenseless.
In this situation, I can see that fear itself is the only thing that is stopping me from entering the cave.
Who really is creating this fear? Muah!
As long as I think the cause of my fear stems from somewhere “out there,” I will never be able to fully experience my life.
The tool of digging beyond the surface of your perceived fear is to ask yourself, “Why am I afraid, and to keep asking until you get to the core. Most of the time it’s not initially what you think it is.
This practice has helped me get to the root of my fears, and overcome them.
Set yourself free by getting to the bottom of what really is making you afraid, and practice standing in front of your fear.
This practice will give rise to your courage.
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Just Talk to Me!

 

This video clip reminds me of my ill fated attempts to engage in conversation.  I think it is funny now but it never use to be. 

I tried everything to get people to talk to me.  

Ask my children.  I had a book I would pull out called “What If.” It had 4 questions to a page. I asked them to pick a page number, and a number on the page. I told them to open to that page, and to read and answer the question. 

My kids hated that book! 

Throughout my life my friends have thought they were talking to a two year old. My mother thought I was noisy. My father thought I asked to many damn questions, and many people who I wanted to know never got back with me. 

It was always an attempt to start a conversation, and to get to know someone better. 

Pursuing a legitimate give and take conversation was a challenge. 

Trust me, a question is ok. A barrage is intimidating. Remember to be patient, wait, and in the silence they will come. 

 

You Are a Miracle

2 1/2 min. read

Scientists estimate that the probability of YOU being born as you are at the time you were born are 1 in 400 trillion.

Dr. Ali Binazir. M.D., M. Phil. used this example to demonstrate the odds of this highly unlikely event to occur. “Imagine there was one life preserver thrown somewhere in some ocean and there is exactly one turtle in all of these oceans, swimming underwater somewhere. The probability that you came about and exist today is the same as that turtle sticking its head out of the water – in the middle of that life preserver. On one try.
The odds of you being alive are basically zero!”

If you are wondering why you are here. If you haven’t found your passion. If you struggle thinking about your talents, ask your friends or family to help provide insight.
If you have asked yourself, what is it that I have to share that hasn’t already been done.
Remember this, you are uniquely you.
Whatever your passion, no one will deliver your message the way you will. Why, because it’s yours.

I have been speaking, and giving workshops since 2010. I have been blogging since 2015.
There has been times before, and after my decision to speak, and even throughout these last nine years that I have questioned my ability, my reason, my why.

On one of those occasions where I was second guessing on whether or not I should continue, I met an old acquaintance of mine who I hadn’t seen or talked to in years.
I asked how she was doing. She shared she had lost her job, had gone through severe
depression, become addicted to alcohol, and had gone through rehab. She said, I want to thank you. Your posts have helped me through some really hard times.

Everyone has a gift, and there is someone out there who is waiting for you to share yours. Someone who’s life will be inspired, moved or transformed by your story because you are 1 in 400 trillion

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Practice Being Proud of Who You Are

 

1 1/2 min. read
Practice Being Proud of Who You Are.

Being a perfectionist is hard work. I rarely let myself be seen by the public not working or achieving.

As a perfectionist, I have to put “a day off” in my calendar, and when I do there have been many times I never honored that entry.
To a perfectionist, it’s a job not to be one. It means one more thing on my to do list!

Today I am dropping the wall. Today, I am letting you know I am not perfect, and I do make mistakes.
I am letting you see, I am doing the best I can.
There are many days I am in the kitchen
Preparing food that supports my body. But there are some days it pains me to say, I am toast!
I am tired of trying to be perfect.
But I wouldn’t want you to see that “I failed” at being perfect.

Growing up, and well into my 40’s, I couldn’t remember a time, “I can’t make a mistake” was not my mantra.
Although, it’s not as bad as it once was, I am still aware of its existence…

-I am still “finishing” my book
-There are days I would prefer laying in bed scrolling through Facebook then get up, and potentially make a mistake.
-This blog has taken me two hours to write.
-Trying to be perfect has prevented me from being silly and having fun.

But I keep chipping away at the wall of perfectionism. I am letting you see me be silly, and I am admitting it took me two hours to write this blog but it used to take me fours hours to write a 1 1/2 minute read, and I am also letting you see days where “I feel I am making a mistake by eating my emotions.”

I am not perfect!
I am doing the best I can.
And it’s ok!

The Key Is To Be Willing

DFF80A32-F020-4073-B0DA-CEC84D140898It doesn’t matter if you are a coach, presenter, parent, sales rep, CEO, manager, nurse, writer, instructor, etc.  How many times have you questioned your ability to guide, lead or assist, and didn’t feel you were in the right frame of mind to do so? You are not perfect, but an important key to the gift you choose to share, even if you don’t feel like you are in the right frame of mind, is your willingness to follow where you ask others to go.  Learn to lean, step into someone else’s shoes, ask for help, be guided, disconnect from what doesn’t support you, become the observer, try something new, and step outside your comfort zone.  The fear of not being perfect gives rise to courage.  The courage to follow when you have been called to lead.

 

Don’t Ridem’ Cowboy

265208E1-A9D0-4631-BBED-6ABF02289C9FWhen my body is feeling good,  I feel I can take on more.  This is where we can get tripped up.  When do you know it’s time to say, “I am good!”  Is it before or after you have pushed yourself too far?  It would be great to have the realization before the body embarks on getting your attention with a more serious slap on the hands.

How many times have you ignored the messages your body was trying to convey until one day the message brought you to your knees?

I will be the first to admit it happened to me yesterday.

I was feeling really good.  This was a healthy sign to stop, and enjoy the space I created.  I was present.  Everything was getting my full attention.  I was feeling good about the work I was doing.  Instead,  I took me feeling good as a sign to take on more and then gradually I noticed I was having a hard time remembering things.  I said to myself, it will get better tomorrow. I just need a little more sleep.  I also threw in,  well you are getting older. This is where the mind likes to trick you into thinking, I got this.  So, I threw more onto my plate.  The body steps in; “she is not listening let’s send her another sign.”  I became tired, dizzy and I was experiencing brain fog.  Thinking a lack of sleep was my problem, I added an hour of sleep.  But one turned into two and two turned into… I never seemed to get enough.  I ignored yet another sign. I went to the Dr. and found my adrenals were shot.  Getting the boost my mind thought I needed, I forged on.  I continued to add more to an already full plate. The next day I tripped while running up a set of stairs and thought I broke my big toe.  I nursed it back to good health.  Still ignoring all the signs, I continued trudging along.

Two days later I was at an event with friends and thought it would be fun to straddle a piece of lawn art and capture a goofy photo.  While dismounting, my flip flop got caught on, who knows what, and down I went.  As my friend was trying to help me up, my foot felt like someone hit it with a sledgehammer.  I stood face to face with my friend, I put my arms around her neck and I said, I am getting sick to my stomach and I am going down and down I went!

I woke up to a crowd of people standing over me and EMT’s on the way.  My blood pressure registered really low.  I was dizzy and seeing spots and I discovered I was dehydrated.

“How many signs do you need, the body says?  I will give you as many as it takes until you listen to me.”

Don’t be fooled by your body’s innate wisdom to strive for balance.

It will eventually get your attention!

 

 

Follow Your Heart

Animals, are great teachers.
It doesn’t matter how many times a day I play catch with this big guy, he is always up for another game. He LOVES playing catch.  It brings him great joy, and it brings me joy watching him do what he loves!
But if I am done being his co-pilot for the day, it doesn’t matter, he finds a way to do what he loves.
When you have a passion for something,  “life” will, at times, present a situation that makes you feel like you can’t or won’t be able to live your passion.
If it’s truly your passion, nothing can get in your way except the thoughts you think. The one’s that tell you, “this” came up, and now I can’t.
Yet, if you chose to tap into the right hemisphere of your brain that houses your imagination and creativity, you will be surprised at the plethora of ideas that emerge, assisting you in accessing your joy.
There is truth in the old adage if there is a will there is a way.
Your passion is something that is being called forth from your inner essence. It is meant to shine and share with others.
Don’t let your thoughts tell you you can’t live what brings you joy.

Traveling Can Take You There

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How many times have you wanted to do something but your perceived limitations held you back?

Maybe you are afraid someone you knew would see you not acting “yourself” or you will be told to grow up, and act like an adult.  

The only way to set yourself free from your perceived limitations is to practice challenging your fears. 

One way to chip away at those barriers is to go to a place nobody knows your name, and do something you always wanted to do but we’re afraid because________.

It doesn’t have to be sky diving or spelunking, just something to pull you outside your comfort zone.

When I am away from home, I practice finding something I would be reluctant to do in the company of those that know me.

When I first moved to Florida, I went to down town Siesta Key.  

I was walking past a musician singing his heart out on the patio of a restaruant. The patio was packed. 

I wanted to dance, and the old fear came up voicing its opinion… “but you suck at it.”

I closed my eyes, bared my inhibitions, and started dancing all by myself right there on the street next to the restaurant. 

I danced for like 30 minutes. When I was done, I felt like I had taken some of the power back I let my fears steal from me. 

The next time you are away from home, pick something you are uncomfortable doing, and chisel away at your fears.

Day # 30 A Healthy Relationship

Cheers                          Let’s Toast!

So this is what a healthy relationship looks like.

have run into each other on many occasions but I never welcomed you into my life to stay. 

Thank you, my friend. You have humbled me, supported my growth, made me more aware of what I am capable of, and you have helped me set the groundwork to build other healthy relationships.  Thank you for this clarity. 

Today is day 30.  

It may be the end of my initial commitment but it’s the beginning of a new friendship.

Welcome home.

 

Day # 29 Revel In The Transformation (part 2) The Ripple Effect of Change

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Before I began this 30-Day Commitment, I would not have let you see what I cannot not do or what I have not yet achieved.  I was afraid of being viewed as not good enough. 

I had to surrender to the idea that I am right where I am suppose to be, and there are also some things my body might not physically be able to do. 

Change takes time, patience, courage, perseverance, acceptance  and honor. 

During my 30-day yoga challenge,  I have learned to honor where I am. I’ve exercised courage to accept the present moment. Because of my courage, I am able to show up, and as a result, my level of commitment is increasing.

The key is to remind myself, the only moment I am required to be present for, is this one.